There are things I don’t blog about because of my desire to keep the peace, and there are things I don’t blog about because I don’t want to be all whiny and throw up (vomit?) the abuse card, but then I have a shitastic dream and a day later, get a call from a friend who is facing much of what I have only begun to acknowledge, so I get pissed. Really, really pissed. I get pissed because my friends mean a lot to me, and I don’t want them to hurt. I get pissed because over... 

I resolve to take naps more often. I have a crush on someone. I am not a patient person, and waiting for answers makes me grumpy. I now understand the difference between contemporary and modern design styles. Until tomorrow, when I forget again. I’m think I may hit up some belly dance classes again in March. I need something to get me out of this house.  

As I sit here, working on hour #9 of listening to 80′s Music Choice, staring at Huey Lewis and thinking about the rumors of his very large, uh, shoes, and having eaten horseradish cheese chased with peanut butter cups, I’m all hopeful and stuff. I blame the horseradish and peanut butter combination. Hot lovin’ every night! No, that’s not a resolution, but it would be nice. Its been a while. Like, a long, long while. But, whatever. Random sex with strangers isn’t my thing,... 

I am about to say the most unthinkable statement that has ever come out of my head. Well, no, there have been plenty of these thoughts, but this is the one I choose to admit. Based on my blazing entry into fertility yesterday (just scroll down, k?), I have been walking around naked, wearing only a cock ring. Name that movie and the first celebrity I wanted to… oh fuck, I can’t take this. Oh, that wasn’t the unthinkable statement. I’m drawing out the anticipation, yo. My mind... 

A Virgo explains sex, in the throes of needing to get laid so badly that life is even more painful than the evil ovaries she is harboring within. Many, many years ago, there was a nagging and baffling pain in my side that would follow me for a few days each month and then fade away. I don’t think I ever mentioned it except to a doctor who told me it was ovulation pain (mittelschmerz), and something few women experienced. Yay. For. Me. Searing pain on each side of my pelvis to remind me that...