…but it could have been shit. I love her, don’t get me wrong, but I cringe when she calls. A. L. O. T. So, today, I bit the bullet and answered the phone. I may have hesitated, I may have thought of 200 reasons not to push that little button, but out of family obligation, I did it. So, here’s a transcript of the 30:33 phone call. GM: “Well, you ARE alive!” Me: Kinda, yeah. *Insert lame apology for not calling* GM: Blah blah blah blah blah blah blahblah blah blahblah... 

Let me preface this by saying that I may come back to this for more details at some other point. I left my notebook in the car and I’m damn tired. Upon arriving at my grandmother’s house, she already had my martini ingredients out. She’s a wonderful lady. I only ate two jars of olives there… well, maybe three. She made spaghetti for us, and although I requested she put some aside for me before she added the meat, she forgot. Then she told me to pick out the noodles away from... 

I never know exactly what I’m going to get when I make that call. Usually, its a run-down of everyone’s health concerns, but tonight it was all about the ice storms in the south. How there are trees down and no power, and she needs more clothes because she’s getting stinky and… “Who is this? I don’t know who I’m talking to!” she cackled at me. It was like 10 minutes into the phone call, so she really didn’t care who she was talking to. That’s...