Draft surfing (42 drafts? Jeebus!) brought me this 2 year old unpublished gem. This was either right before some shitty things went down with Martian, or right after. Its probably when I really did start taking care of myself over his needs, and not out of anger, but self-preservation. I was also in the throes of the last semester of my Women’s Studies degree; the best and most useless degree I’ve ever known. The empowerment of knowing why you aren’t happy can make huge changes...
I made it through y’all’s Christmas with flying colors. I saw my friends, my sister, and got to spend a whole lot of QT with a pretty great Scorpio. I ended up having an extra day without The Crew, actually, and while I would have enjoyed a little more notice with that, it worked out fine and everyone is happy. I am… happy. The rest of the week, so far, has been a little harder. My (ex)business partner is a total tool (oh, please read this!) and left me high and dry at the absolute...
…and rambly! Yay! I joke a lot about being without guilt or remorse. I embrace the Virgo exterior I am supposed to portray – emotionless, logical, full of blank stares and meh. People, dear readers, stalkers and haters, I have a confession: I am, indeed, heartless. Why? Because a whole lot of mother fuckers have broken my heart into bits and there is NOTHING left. So, fuck off. That being said, I hate hurting other people. It kind of kills me in a way that I am extremely uncomfortable...
I had piles of papers, photos and a myriad of crap I had to go through in order to make my room mine again. It has been a day. A long, six hour day of meandering through memory lane and dust bunny hell. When the music fails, and I have nothing to drown out the thoughts in my mind, I clean. I hate cleaning. I love the result, but the process always brings forth a whole lot of insight, things I don’t want to think about just sit there, looking at me like I’m an asshole for not putting them...
Jumping on the bandwagon that I fell off last year, I am officially committing to NaBloPoMo… again. I’d love to commit to NaNoWriMo, but, well, my life isn’t fabulous enough to allow me that amount of time. Yet. Its coming. IT HAS TO BE COMING! UGH! Ahem. November has come to symbolize a lot for me this year, which is probably a good thing, because I realized through some demented thoughts that I may actually be at my breaking point. My bootstraps, heart and soul are pretty much...
