Melia Lore – a fictitious name because she can. 30-something, sometimes “work from home,” student mom of 4 (or is that 400?) kids, and a few animals thrown in for good measure. Lots of issues, lots of humor. Read all about her, because it makes her heart thump and her eyebrows wiggle.

The Husband - a real name because that’s what he is. The only person insane enough to put up with Melia and her odd ways. Makes a mean cup of coffee and walks the dog, even when he’s sick. Melia can’t live without him, but don’t tell him that.

The Talker – he started speaking at age 1.5 and hasn’t stopped, 10 years later. Says at least one thing each day that makes Melia crack up. Also says at least one thing a day that makes Melia want to break her “no smacking the kids” rule. Melia is not looking forward to the teen years.

The Enigma – is it autism? Is it SID? Is it just a quirky kid who’s late in developing “normally?” No, its THE ENIGMA!! The absolute sweetest child you’ll ever meet, unless you tell him “no,” then you’re in for a big ol’ whinefest. He’s nine and oh-so-fine. Really. Plus, he can tell you every Metro stop on the Orange Line.

Little Mary Sunshine – Baby A. She twirls, she sings, she demands, she screams! Her favorite things include popcorn and chocolate… and princesses. Her best friends are Hannah ‘Tana, Daddy, Mommy and the “white-hair girl” in her preschool. Did I mention she loves Hannah ‘Tana?

Dozer Doodle - Baby B. The Mastermind. She’s quiet, she plots, and when you piss her off, she lets you know. She also loves popcorn and chocolate, and princesses, and gummies, and singing. She recently resigned herself to the fact that she’s not a boy, and that might make Melia a little sad.

Dogs, Cat, LynnyPig, Daisy Pig and The Aquarium. They’re all pretty self-explanatory. I can’t really name the fish individually since I keep leading them to slow, painful deaths.