Melia Lore – a fictitious name because she can. 30-something, freelancing mom of 4 (or is that 400?) kids, and a few animals thrown in for good measure. Lots of issues, lots of humor. Read all about her, because it makes her heart thump and her eyebrows wiggle.

The Talker – he started speaking at age 1.5 and hasn’t stopped, over a decade later. Says at least one thing each day that makes Melia crack up. Also says at least one thing a day that makes Melia want to break her “no smacking the kids” rule. Melia is not looking forward to the teen years.

The Enigma – is it autism? Is it SID? Is it just a quirky kid who’s late in developing “normally?” No, its THE ENIGMA!! The absolute sweetest child you’ll ever meet, unless you tell him “no,” then you’re in for a big ol’ whinefest. He’s nine and oh-so-fine. Really. Plus, he can tell you every Metro stop on the Orange Line.

Little Mary Sunshine – Baby A. She twirls, she sings, she demands, she screams! Her favorite things include popcorn and chocolate… and princesses. Her best friends are Hannah ‘Tana, Daddy, Mommy and the “white-hair girl” in her preschool. Did I mention she loves Hannah ‘Tana?

Dozer Doodle - Baby B. The Mastermind. She’s quiet, she plots, and when you piss her off, she lets you know. She also loves popcorn and chocolate, and princesses, and gummies, and singing. She recently resigned herself to the fact that she’s not a boy, and that might make Melia a little sad.

The Husband - “killing me softly with his song…”

Dr. Nightmare – my GPS. I’m fairly convinced that he is literally trying to drive me crazy. Please, consult your magic book… bitch.

MJ - sometimes known as MomJeans. Truly, she is a force to be reckoned with in quite a few of my blogs. She’s been a friend for five years, and it all began with a breast pump. Now, she’s become a partner-in-crime. I’d eat her for dinner, but that violates The Rule.

Freedom - Rejoining the ranks as Melia’s BFF/soul mate from back before ANY of her lessons were learned (well, the lessons she’s spoken of on the blog), Freedom has brought back a familiar craziness into Melia’s life that she desperately needed.

Lily, Carra, PsychoCat, Daisy Pig and The Aquarium. They’re all pretty self-explanatory. I can’t really name the fish individually since I keep leading them to slow, painful deaths.