I have a meeting today with a client. I also have 4 kids home with me for the summer (although, one is MIA at ComicCon right now). Normally, I don’t do meetings in the summer, because finding childcare is always a
last-minute thought pain and, well, I can only be so detail-oriented before my brain explodes. Plus, the child eaten by superheroes is my main babysitter, and, well, he’s off having a life without me. Meh.
Normal meeting prep consists of making notes or getting a presentation/report together. This, however, is the first meeting I’ve ever brought all my kids to, and they don’t really seem to understand the concept of personal space unless I’m holed up in my bedroom typing frantically. Even then, they’re up my ass. Attachment parenting fail
Today’s meeting prep began last night when I told The Twitches that we’re meeting with a local interior designer I work with.
“What’s that?” they asked.
“She makes rooms and houses pretty,” I said, “she could take your bedroom and make it beautiful!”
“With Ninjago?!?” asked Dozer.
“And flowers?” asked Sunshine.
“Um, well, yes, she could do that…” I said, watching them cultivate a plan to turn their room into some girly-yet-deadly fortress of utter 6-year-old delight.
They smiled, content, and somehow thought that my meeting was going to be all about decorating their room. I persisted with the “you need to be on your best behavior” speech and how important it was that we act like a team so Mommy can work, ignoring their dreams of bedroom re-design.
“Are there screens there?” they asked.
“No, but we’ll bring stuff for you to do,” I replied.
“No, we’ll bring some”
“How long will the meeting take?”
“About an hour, I think”
“Does she have kids?”
“Yes, two, but they won’t be there.”
“Because she has it more together than I could ever have” “Because they’re in school or have a nanny”
“Oh,” they replied, sad.
“So, we’re going to all work together on this, right?” I
LALALALALALALALALALA (no answer)
****Later, this morning****
Enigma: “So, we’re going to a meeting with you today?”
“Yes, with a client, and I need you to be on your best wha-wha-wha-wha-wah-wah” I repeated, mostly to myself.
“Ok, are you going to introduce us?” Enigma asks, pacing.
“Yes, she wants to meet you,” I said.
“Good,” he replies, balling up his fists and smiling his evil smile, “I’m going to introduce myself as The Evil Emperor.”