I just found this draft, titled, “Dishwasher” and it’s blank. WHAT DOES IT MEAN?!?
The Imperial March begins to play on my phone… I wake up with Twitches in my bed, an Enigma reminding me that I do have to get up, and an insane urge to down a pot of coffee like a frat boy. We get out of my bed, stumble down the stairs, yell at Emo Boy to get his butt up, and start the morning with smiles, rainbows and a sing-along. Heh. During the process of getting breakfast together, injecting caffeine into my veins, and monitoring the time-cereal continuum, I check the weather, my e-mail, my daily tarot card and my horrorscope. I like to be prepared for the day’s astral events, yo.
Today’s horrorscope was simple: Your boss may get angry with you today.
Oh yeah? Well, EFF YOU, boss!
I actually thought about this, because I’m my boss. I don’t often get mad at myself. I get mad at everyone else (stick a fork in ‘em, they’re done!), but me? ME? How can I get mad at myself? I’m freaking perfect!
So, the conversation in my head went a little like this:
Melia, we need to talk about your productivity lately. You’re really beginning to slack off on this 18-hours/day thing we had agreed upon. I realize that you feel you are entitled to have fun or sleep, but, those were not the initial terms of our contract and I think I may take you to court.
To which I replied:
Melia, EFF YOU. You’re not the boss of me!
Gaining me a spectacular…
No, EFF YOU! I am the boss of you and I’m now angry, just like your horrorscope predicted. Suck on that.
After which, I said:
Nobody believes in horrorscopes anyway. Besides, you really don’t seem to understand that as much as you hate me, that means you looooove me, too, and that you think I’m awesome.
Ya know, really I’m pretty cool with me right now. I may get frustrated and anxious over all of this business I do, but, honestly, I’m fucking proud of what I’ve done… and what is ahead of me. Nobody can take that away… and even my darling inner critic plans to buy me a drink tonight to celebrate the wholly awesome person I am, deadlines be damned.