Monthly Archives: January 2012

Jan28

Pretty Lady

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Pretty Lady

I was told to start blogging again, because I’m boring. And, yeah, I am. There’s been a lot of shit going on that has kind of hit me like a ton of bricks. Blah blah blah.

I’m back. I’m blogging. Fuck the haters. And, I’m blogging about a guy. That guy. That Graphics Guy in my Zip Code.

So, um, 8 weeks ago, not that I’m counting, I was messaged at 10:28 am on my “work-related” dating site by a random guy. His line?

Good morning, pretty lady.

I’m a dork. A sucker. A girl. Sheesh.

I did my normal thing, we chatted about midgets and vomit, I grabbed his birthday info, casually (which he seemed to know right off the bat, much to my shock and delight), and entered in the numbers… GGmyZC is a double Scorpio with an Aries moon.

Dude. Let’s talk about non-committal sex. Hell yes. After my thoughts on a Muse, which is just a nice way of saying FWB, booty call, random companion with lots of hot monkey love, I was just ready to find someone to pass the time with in a total non-emotional way. This time, I was determined not to get sucked into the bullshit, and play the “I don’t care” card just as hard as everyone else. Chin up, tits out.

Yeah, so, after a few days and nights of pretty hot chat and getting to know each other, I orchestrated the great french fry caper. GGmyZC lives less than 10 minutes from me, and I had spent the day getting all pretty for my professional head shots. My photographer, during the shoot, asked me if I wanted a photo for a dating site. I declined, I wasn’t ready for anything serious like that. She had also said, when we were setting up the details for the shoot, that I should take advantage of how awesome I’d look and go out that night.

I mulled the possibilities over. I considered the risks involved in going to a virtual stranger’s house. I vlogged random shit and then I decided that I wanted fries. Fries that were conveniently located between my house and GGmyZC’s house. Fries that were such a total excuse to get out of the house and meet this guy that was… well… interesting.

This thing has taken on a life of its own….

 

 

Jan24

How Feminism Saved My Life

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How Feminism Saved My Life

Draft surfing (42 drafts? Jeebus!) brought me this 2 year old unpublished gem. This was either right before some shitty things went down with Martian, or right after. Its probably when I really did start taking care of myself over his needs, and not out of anger, but self-preservation.  I was also in the throes of the last semester of my Women’s Studies degree; the best and most useless degree I’ve ever known.

The empowerment of knowing why you aren’t happy can make huge changes in your perception.

It was like a flash of lightning for me, the realization that I could make changes in my life to make me happy.  but also, to find out exactly how I ended up feeling lost or stuck inside of this family I had, literally, created around me. There was a huge part of me that was ready to just throw it all away, to give up, and to start over again. I’m sure you’ve all had those same thoughts, that this life isn’t living up to its hype. It doesn’t live up to the promised fairy tale, and no matter how much we try to pretend we don’t buy into it… how can we not expect Prince or Princess Charming to come and sweep us off of our feet and make our boo-boos all better? The fact is, though, that Prince or Princess Charming is waiting for the very same thing. They may be up on a horse, but they don’t have their shit together anymore than you do. Yet, when we’re alone or in the throes of a bad fight, we think, “maybe someday…”

Someday, your Prince/ss may come, but I can guarantee she or he will never be as good to you as you can be to yourself.

This mold of “Super Mom” or whatever you want to call it this week is based in sociology, anthropology, history and religion. You want to free yourself from the role, start digging. Find out why you are in the situation you are in, why you decided to marry someone, and where your household roles came from.

I can’t really explain the significance of this right now, because I’m busy living the dream and being good to myself, waiting for a conference call and cringing at the piles of dishes in my kitchen that I can hear mocking me. Its pretty effin’ significant, though.  My feminist studies, while sadly on the back burner now, did save my life. I think the next question is, will that continue to be a factor as I tie up my loose ends and go on with my bad self.

P.S. I really miss being all up in the feminist and political world.

Jan23

Now Hiring: Melia’s Intern

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Now Hiring: Melia’s Intern

In recent months, it has come to light that I’m one busy, badass mother… um… yeah. No, seriously, I’m swamped, all the time. I love it, I hate it, but its the truth and I’m just kind of at the point where I am no longer too proud to ask for help. The problem? I don’t actually have enough income to pay someone on a regular basis to take some of the load off.

I need an intern.

I want an intern.

I deserve an intern!

I’m a fountain of knowledge, with so much to give someone who wants to know about Internet marketing, social media, schmoozing, childcare and light housekeeping. Oh, and, I’m not above soliciting for foot rubs and pedicures.

I am totally willing to open up my very messy home to show someone the basics of working from home, juggling a million kids, making Internet dreams come true, writing brilliant copy, washing laundry, making a pot roast (says the vegetarian) and just generally running around being fabulous and hyped up on B-12.

All. Day. Long.

Please, Tweet and pass this around to all your really cheap friends. I’m totally willing to consider a virtual internship as long as I get to tell someone what to do and they don’t try to invoice me :D

Jan16

La Parte Nachos

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La Parte Nachos

Everyone loves nachos. If you don’t love nachos, please just block this website, and forget I exist. I’ve already forgotten you.

This weekend, I hosted a nacho party.

It was just something to make winter weekends seem more fun for the kids, or, that’s how it started off. Then, I invited GGmyZC and his kids, and Ms. Coldfeather and her family. Nachos are easily scalable, so all was well, and I went about my merry way, foraging for nacho supplies and passing the morning away watching a very important Pinewood Derby competition. Not necessarily in that order.

I had returned home from foraging at the local GayWay and answered the phone, “What is love? Baby don’t hurt me! Don’t hurt me, no more!” smiling as I heard the voice of GGmyZC (because, I’m that much of a dork).

While my greatest conversations start out with, “Hey, I have the best idea!” GGmyZC’s best opener goes a little like this:

“I have a question for you.”

Not being one to deny the experience of asking me a question, I nodded and then realized I was on the phone, so I encouraged his line of questioning with a stupid affirmation of just how fucking great he was. It went like this:

“Ok, what’s up?”

Long story short, it was GGmyZC’s daughter’s last night in town and…

“Of course she’s welcome to come to the nacho party! That would be great!” I said.

No, actually, that wasn’t the question. The question was whether I would mind if her mom, GGmyZC’s ex-wife, came to the nacho party.

*blink*

*blink* *blink*

I didn’t actually blink for a few minutes. I immediately affirmed that the whole plan would be fine and she was welcome to come and it would be fun. GGmyZC feels that since we’d just run into each other a lot (gasp!) that it was a great idea. We’d met at the Derby earlier and she didn’t seem to have any knives or explosives and I saw no t-shirt bearing my photo with a circle and a line through it.

Not like the last time I had a nacho party. Whew!

Then, I spent a few great hours with my BFF who not only swept my floor and chopped veggies (I’m not allowed to have knives in these situations) but gave me hostess tips (because, she is the best hostess on the planet, and may have been concerned for my mental health). I was not panicking. I did not drink. I did not make promises to deities. I rolled with it, knowing that no matter what, I had a great blog coming.

After all of that, dear readers, guess what happened?

We all had a great time, and I got to talk to the ex Mrs. GGmyZC (who is lovely) and their daughter (lovlier) and hang out with GGmyZC and the Feather clan and… eat nachos!

Is this really the new family life? I’m all for it, personally, I think everyone should get along. Hell, Emo Boy’s 2nd wife used to hang out with me, and once told me that “our” ex was afraid she’d like me more than him. Go figure. I think its great for the kids, and I look forward to seeing where all of this ends up. Unless, its me in some shitty dumpster somewhere outside of DC.

GGmyZC just wanted to hang out with me, he said. I think its payback for dragging him to meet almost everyone in my life who is important to me in the DC area over Xmas weekend and winter break. I’m currently devising my next way to trip him up. I’m pretty sure it will involve a rotating platform, a bear costume and a LMFAO song. Or, he’s going to meet my Grandma. Heh. Stay tuned.

 

 

Jan9

An Ode to the End of the World

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An Ode to the End of the World

Heh, I lied. Its not an ode, its just me rambling. Surprise!

In a sense, its pretty interesting that the Mayan calendar may or may not choose this particular year to end, especially since I may have a personal sense of getting my own shit together.

I’m relaunching a website in, oh, less than a month. Despite the hurdles I’ve been flinging myself into over this six year old albatross around my neck, I am pushing forward, relaunching a website/obsession that has pretty much detailed my life since giving birth to The Twitches. Its weird to think that something like a website has a life of its own that is directly connected to me, but, there’s some pretty good evidence that HippyMom and I are linked on a karmic level. Don’t judge me.

With this, I’m relaunching myself, in a sense. Maybe its a bit trite, and throughout this blog, I’ve made a lot of small steps toward that goal, but this is pretty big, on many levels. Professionally, this is my chance to put everything together that I do for my clients into something that will benefit me, and will hopefully be a means of providing both material and personal success. Its something I love to do, from the community aspect to the writing and management of the whole project. I’m terribly excited, extremely nervous, and should probably be working on that, not blogging here.

So, unofficially, February marks the relaunch of HippyMom.com. Because of server issues and some other shitty dealings with a tool, I’m about 10 days behind schedule right now. HippyMom is never without drama, especially when I’m a main player. I have a month’s worth of content ready to go, and need to get on the ball for March. (If anyone is interested in writing, please let me know.) I have to get that site moved, update the software, and come up with about a million marketing/administration plans. When I’m not trying to vomit the anxiety out of my system, I’m pretty fucking excited.

Its the end of the world, and, really, I do feel fine.