I made it through y’all’s Christmas with flying colors. I saw my friends, my sister, and got to spend a whole lot of QT with a pretty great Scorpio. I ended up having an extra day without The Crew, actually, and while I would have enjoyed a little more notice with that, it worked out fine and everyone is happy. I am… happy.
The rest of the week, so far, has been a little harder. My (ex)business partner is a total tool (oh, please read this!) and left me high and dry at the absolute worst possible time (are you still working on it? HMM?) something like that can happen. Between juggling the kids, and despite the fact that I worked my ass off last week to have free time with them this week, I have been tied to my computer trying to figure out things that should have been done a month ago. Money, time and frustration spent, things are working out again, I hope, and I look forward to a brand new 2012 full of awesome that I control. Not that I have control issues (heh), but, I’ve spent far too many years trying to partner up with people when its clear, that, well…
I got this.
Stumbles and all.
Oh, and, as for digging a dull spoon into my painful trust issues, I appreciate the reminder of just how crappy people can be. I think that my pattern with emotionally unavailable people reared its ugly head and I did what I do best – I bent over backwards, put up with a TON of crap, and was still shafted. My BFF made the point about it being safe for me to hang out with people like that, because then I don’t really get hurt. She’s right. I get it. That kind of shit is over, lesson totally learned. I should be devastated, but, I’m not. Angry, yes. Sobbing pile of snot? Nope.
My Muse theory stands. This time, though, I refuse to mix business up with my personal life. It was a lovely, albeit unintentional excuse that totally made me realize I’m not dead, yet, and appreciate how much the people in my life, now, really care about me. I have some of the greatest friends in the world, who totally held my hair while I vomited confusion and angst all over the place. They’re also the people that are holding my hand while I tiptoe into something that could actually be real, for as long as it lasts. Its a nice, terrifying change.
I like my muses. Life is dull without them
I’m gearing up for a pretty fantastic weekend, again, with a New Year’s event at my place. Old friends are coming, new friends, my family. Presents will be opened, food will be eaten, and then, I can get myself back on track again.