Remember the UnCool Girl Series? Those three-ish very funny and important blogs about how stupid women are in relationships, even if they were formerly awesome and cool? I was reminded of those recently. I re-read them, I even put fresh videos up. Now, I just have to figure out why my tags aren’t showing, because these little blogettes are nothing without the accompanying tags. My work is never done.

Why the resurrection, aside from the awesome blog material itself? I was reminded of many discussions about why women seem to go “crazy” and act like UnCool Girls. I thought, and thought, and had a few beers, and came up with a dozen reasons. I remembered my own, well-guarded romps in UCG land. I reflected on the experiences of the myriad of women I’ve spoken with about dating, relationships, marriage and divorce. I consulted my cards. I chewed gum. I went on a date (business!) and reflected further. I slept. I gave up. People, as a rule, are just fucking crazy.

Ahem. So, what I came up with is this: this particular UCG is possibly being strung along, whether intentionally, or not, by someone who may or may not be interested. It happens. Two people, nothing else to do, booze, pills, a long road of loneliness ahead of them… shit happens. One-sided love may blossom, clothing gets flung around the bedroom/kitchen/Burger King bathrom, etc. But, really, the people person may not know, or care, about the extensive damage being created. Fuckers. That, by the way, is not an excuse.

Stalkers, if that person IS interested and making you, the CG, into an UCG, then its time to run the fuck away. Crazymaking is not a stable ingredient of a relationship. If the person isn’t interested… well, read the other blogs in the series and follow that sage advice. This shit is serious, yo. Kinda.

Long story short: a stalker isn’t a stalker if you continue to hang out with the person “stalking” you. In fact, legally, you’re just an idiot. Maybe you are using the term “stalker” to impress the ladies and/or gentlemen, although, that has no legal bearing on things. Maybe you enjoy the drama.  Regardless, you want to know why your on-again-off-again “stalker” or “ex” is crazy? BECAUSE MAYBE YOU ARE MAKING HER CRAZY.

You, Miss or Mister, are not being stalked. You are in a relationship. It may not be the relationship you want to be in, but there’s no other description that fits. Cool Girls, and Cool Guys, probably recognize this.Even if its not not as obvious to the “stalkee” as it is to, say, me, there are two choices: a) commit to the relationship or b) get out. Maybe you like the attention, maybe you just don’t know how to end things, but its these situations that make you, the alleged “stalkee,” your family, friends and lawyer just a little more twitchy than normal.

Cool Girls (ahem) recognize these unfortunate UCGs, and while we would probably love to sit down over a few drinks and drill it into the heads of the woman/man being tortured, its not going to do much good. Anyone who sticks around for that type of treatment is probably just going to flounce off and leave us with the tab to pay. Not cool.

This shit can only get better. Seriously.