Monthly Archives: August 2011

Aug28

I Always Miss All the Fun

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I Always Miss All the Fun

I’m not going to blog about the DC Earthquake.

I’m not going to blog about Hurricane Irene.

Why?

Because, I missed both of them.

Lucky? Yes. Extremely. Left out? Totally.

I am practicing gratitude. Ommm.

I did have a fantastic weekend with my girls and their kids. My hurricane included nine children, and I lived to tell the tale. Awwww yeah. There’s just something about being around the people who were “there” for me when I was pregnant and then nursing the twins that makes me feel a lot less crazy, even with 3 sets of twins and 3 others zooming around the house.

School starts tomorrow. Summer is quickly coming to a close and I have a bunch of stuff to do, as always, but maybe I’ll actually have time to do it now. Dare I dream there’s some peace on the way?

Heh, as if.

XOXO!

Aug23

Tuesday is for Trippin’

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Tuesday is for Trippin’

Evidently, the Universe heard my plea for more fun and has granted me two nights of insomnia. I’m a lucky gal.

Those stupid, stupid thoughts that bounce around my brain because idiots and assholes can’t seem to understand that the world does not revolve around them.

Making new friends eventually requires discussing past issues, taking the fun out of a lot of things.

Maybe I think too much.

Gangsta rap.

20 year olds who question my love for drummers, yet point out the irony of toes.

Lots and lots of work.

Aug21

Dear Summer,

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Dear Summer,

I realize your plan has been to completely kick my ass for 10+ weeks. You’ve been doing a fantastic job, by the way, and I could not have asked for a more talented or skilled foe.

Physically, between insomnia and chiggers, I have the stamina of a marshmallow. Even though I’m starting to eat meat again, kinda, I still can’t get behind gelatin, so this marshmallow status also has me hating myself. Thanks. Plus, this non-stop entertainment director position has me jumping through hoops with a level of grace I’m not sure I actually have.

Emotionally… well, I’m fine. I’m an emotional wreck, but I’m okay. I’m sure there is more you could do in that department, so please, continue. I would like a small break for my upcoming birthday, but I realize that will just give you a reason to kill my dog.

Mentally, I’m exhausted. I’m tired of balancing the budget, my time, my kids, the house and scrambling for just an hour or two of “me” time. I think I’ve been alone for a total of 12 hours since June, including yesterday, the day I got my hair did AND bought new make-up. Clearly, I have lost my mind.

This is our last week, summer, and I realize there will be many, many battles fought over the next seven days, but I’m ready. In theory… even if I probably just incited you to greater heights of torture.

Love and Arson,

Melia

 

Aug14

This is Why I’m Single

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This is Why I’m Single

Because I’m an asshole. Even though technically, I’m not single… but I am. And, I’m an ass.

Working in Social Media and researching potential opportunities to promote a new client, I stumbled across a social site that wasn’t Facebook, Twitter or the usual suspects I diddle. It was recommended in an article that I found reading another article, full of tips and blah blah blah. Its not a dating site, but it is, but it isn’t.

You set up a profile, and you post, like Facebook. You also get matched up to people, can send cheesy gifts, the whole ball of string and wax. Yay. I signed up, not for the dating/matching/blah part, but to see how I could use it for networking and some marketing stuff. Seriously.

Then, they started coming at me, and I began to expect photos of penises like I used to get back on my IRC days. Strangely enough, that hasn’t happened, yet.

What has happened is a whole planet full of maybe-maybe-not single men and women are gathering en masse, in various stages of chest exposure (I’ve seen big boobs, six packs and lots of hairy guts, sometimes in the same photo) vying for attention from each other. Some are old, some are new. 85% are scary, 10% are lying, and 5% are probably people like me. Bored, with few options for social or other entertainment.

So far, I’ve “met” or seen:

  • Some guy who said I was too defensive. Whatever THAT means.
  • Angry man full of, well, anger. That goes over well on a semi-dating site.
  • Bad grammar, spelling and otherwise “blame it on auto correct” people. While I’m not always grammatically correct, if I see another “UR beautifull” statement, I may die.
  • The hopeless romantic man posting hourly about his search for a “real, true love,” and the “perfect woman to complete me.” Gag. (More on him in the future. Heh.)
  • Men and women that post their children as profile pictures. Ummm, I get that idea on Facebook, but, really… stop. Its a dating site. Baiting others with children is beyond skeevy.
  • Self-portrait horrors. I’m smart enough to know that only one of my 1000 times I try to take a pic of myself with my phone will actually look decent. None of your posted 30 bathroom mirror pics are good. Maybe you should revert to posting pics of your kids, or a super hero, FFS.

I’ve had a few exchanges on these sites, some of which may potentially lead to further business, which, at least, makes me feel better about being there. Or, these people are just trying to get into my virtual pants. I’ve been asked out by a 20-something guy asking if I was a cougar (heh) and a guy who openly admitted he was cheating on his wife. Every day is a new adventure, a winding road, if you will.

This can only blow up in my face.

Weird? Yes. Amusing? Sometimes. Bloggable? Most definitely. More to come? Awwww yeah.

 

 

Aug7

Curse You, Reality

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Curse You, Reality

The final tally of actual vacation I took during my week off is hovering somewhere around 3.5 days. I’m sad that I didn’t get all my well-deserved time off, but impressed that I did manage to not work those days. I did clean and remember what it was like to “only” be a SAHM, and I discovered I feel a little naked without deadlines. I also feel a little naked without clothes, but that hasn’t stopped me from running around Stepford, scaring the children.

Wheeee!

So, I’m back at it, but maybe at a less hectic pace. I still really want a road trip, and I did see that BlogHer went on without me, again, much to my eternal despair.

Three weeks until the kiddos all go to school. Three weeks until I (hopefully) don’t have to juggle work and the kids in this non-stop, desperate battle to see who owns my soul. Three weeks until I have to wake up at 6:30 again. Sigh.

Anyway, I’ve not done a list in a while, so its time to share my recent round of insights.

1. People can and will fuck with your head if you let them. They will continue to do so, even after being caught. They suck.

2. Bills suck.

3. There is a definite bias in Stepford and how people view single moms, large numbers of kids… and single moms with large numbers of kids.

4. Britney Spears may or may not be shopping at Target, but you’ll never really know, and I cannot explain that statement any better.

5. I am, sadly, more ingrained in this community than I ever realized. I’m not sure if I’ll make it out alive, or without some stupid, huge designer “bag.”  Talbots, anyone? :)

6. I’m pretty sure I’m going to start eating some sort of meat again. I just don’t know what, or when. CRY.

Rock on, my friends. Its time to get real.