Spring is a time when marketers and advertisers push for major household overhauls in terms of gardens, cleaning and home improvement. I write about this crap a lot for a client, so my own version of “spring cleaning” has been on my mind…
What I want to get rid of and/or replace so I don’t have to look at its ugly face anymore
1. The Couch and Love Seat. Aside from the completely telling story of how they came into my life and the metaphor for my failed marriage, they’re just old (like 12 years?) and house a whole lot of memories I don’t want anymore.
2. The Aquarium. As much as I enjoy the relaxing sound of water and the life cycle I get to watch as the guppies continually inbreed, I think its just time to let it go and maybe plant a garden instead.
3. The Carpet. Potty training twins, two dogs, a cat, and just the kids in general make me twitch whenever I see anyone sit or put their face near it… and, its beige, which won’t look right with the red couch I plan on getting someday.
4. Golden Fixtures. Seriously, I don’t understand why “gold” is such a fabulous color, especially when it comes to things like outlet covers and doorknobs.
5. My Computer. No, wait, I already did that. I may have a serious crush on it, and am contemplating actually saving files to its hard drive… its kind of like moving in together, really, and for someone like me with a strong and ironic fear of commitment, this is huge.
6. Cable. I am trying to embrace the technology that FIOS has provided to me, courtesy of Martian, and that has stuck me in a contract for the next 22 months… but, I’m currently watching “Paranormal Entity” and I may want to cry. TV sucks. All of it.