Monthly Archives: September 2010

Sep29

Goldfish on the Floor

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Goldfish on the Floor

I was searching for some blogging inspiration today, but it found me instead. Stop me if you’ve heard this before, but I want to tell you the story about why I love floor-spiced Goldfish.

Once upon a time, I was living in a townhouse with my family (yes, I know, but now I’m in a DIFFERENT townhouse). As The Twitches were still young and nursing, I did not do much except breastfeed and hang out online. Maybe some tie dye here and there, maybe a little freelancing from time to time, but for the most part, my life was online. Shocking, I know.

Image courtesy of http://austincarnivore.blogspot.com/

There was a twin parenting site that I was involved with in many ways, mostly in the harboring of refugees from other twin sites where some crazy women felt it necessary to be “those” women with the perfect lives on paper screen who do their best to make everyone else feel like crap. Parenting boards are scary, but twin parenting boards are a special kind of madness.Through the evolution of this twin site, women would come and go, and some would stick around and try to be reasonable, productive members of that virtual society… and then there were those who stuck around because all the other boards knew they were fucking nuts. Unfortunately, one of those nutty characters lived in my general vicinity, and as time went on, we arranged a playdate at my house.

Her twins were about nine months younger than mine. She seemed normal, maybe a little snarky and very Stepfordish, but since that’s kind of a NoVa trait, I looked beyond it. I invited her over, cleaned my never-clean house and waited. She came over, brought presents (which, honestly, was a bit weird) and we let the kiddos all play together in their “parallel play, we’re big babies” sort of way. Then, she busts out a bag of cheerios and spreads them on the floor for her kids to eat.

No big deal, they were crawling and my floor was clean enough, so whatever.

We finish the playdate, everyone is happy. I meet her and her friends for drinks a week or so later. It was the start of a friendship, one of those “yeah, I need a reason to get out of the house” friendships, but a friendship, nonetheless.

Not long after that, I was informed through the crazy twin mom grapevine, that she was afraid for her children in my house. That my house was some sort of hazard to their health or well-being. That I had old Goldfish on the floor and she had to keep them out of the reach of her children because THEY COULD DIE (its my blog, I’ll be dramatic if I wanna).

*Record Skips*

Yes, that is what was said. Kinda.

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Sep27

Its Over! Its Over!

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Its Over! Its Over!

Birthday Hell Week has come to an end. Three birthdays in six days requiring cakes (not that I did those, but its still pressure, yo), presents, and the rest of the festivities (oh, wait, I don’t do those stupid huge parties anymore)… but, its over, and I can rest.

Ha.

Dozer's Butt Cake!

Enigma is 10 now, and I had the great honor of telling him that the uncle he was named after was at my 10th birthday and dubbed me with the “double digits” club membership. Enigma smiled when I told him about Uncle Spencer, who was also born in September. It has to be weird to grow up with most of one’s extended family deceased. I could say that Uncle Spencer was the first person to perform lipo on elephants and the kids would believe me.

That’s kind of powerful, really. If your family is all going to die before you can meet them, they can at least allow their survivors some artistic license. My Grandfather build rockets that went straight into the liquor cabinets of each and every house in the neighborhood. It was awesome. My mom was a trapeze artist. My dad was… no, wait, he’s still alive. Dammit.

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Sep25

Dear Arch Nemesisesess

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Dear Arch Nemesisesess

Yes, that means you, spammers.

There are days when you flatter me with your words, and days when I want to thump you in the robotic nads. But, what really gets me more than anything is when you all tell me the EXACT SAME THING on EACH BLOG that I own, manage or somehow get notificatified.

Please, hire a writer (not me) and come up with some original material. You are making me nuts, and while that isn’t exactly hard to do, I have a lot more I’d rather deal with.

Love,

Melia

P.S. I hope you got that issue straightened out with your penis, because… ouch.

Sep23

Taking a Leap

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Taking a Leap

A few years ago, I decided that once I had time, I was going to volunteer at our local abused women’s shelter. I had actually been waiting a while for this, and thought it would be great if I could help the women who use the shelter’s services to learn computer skills and help them find jobs, build their resumes and access information that may not have been available to them.

I would still like to do that, but I have to take things slowly.

Our local shelter is pretty quiet about its presence. It wasn’t until I received a newsletter about a fundraiser for the new shelter they’re trying to build that I finally acted, and since I’m all into the social media and Internet stuff, I volunteered my time in giving them social media marketing. That was about a month ago, and I can happily say that I’m doing something for a cause that means a lot to me.

They told me that since I was only doing computer stuff, that I didn’t have to go through the 30 hours of volunteer training. Time-wise, I was kind of grateful. Knowing how hard it is for me to get out of the house, it was just a relief to not have to make those arrangements. Then, the next week, I was directly contacted to see if I was interested in the training. I thought about it, and was going to decline until next year when things weren’t so weird here. Freedom said, “this is what you want to do…go,” and I couldn’t argue. It is what I want to do, or a very big part of it. I thought about it a bit more and finally decided to go ahead and attend the sessions, regardless of how busy I was or who/whatever else I had to deal with in order to have the time out of the house.

I did hesitate attending the first full day of training. There were plenty of other things for me to do, plus I’d missed the first night and felt badly about that. Perhaps it was the tension in the house that propelled me out the door, or just my need to get out, but I did go.

Day 1 was one of the hardest and best days of my life.

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Sep20

Sometimes, You Just Gotta Say It…

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Sometimes, You Just Gotta Say It…

Women. Suck.

While I realize that as the #1742 feminist on the Internets, that’s a hard statement to take (or, maybe its just hard for me to take, but whatever) coming from the Great Melia, but honestly… my heart is breaking vicariously for another person because of the actions of his spouse.

When you are in a couple-type relationship, no matter what genders (or lack thereof) may apply, the absolute WORST THING you can do to the other person is to lead them on. I don’t mean trying to salvage the friendship by having dinner, buying a gift here and there, or anything that can be somewhat misinterpreted, but are harmless acts. I mean, when you want to break up with someone, then TELL THEM so they aren’t left floundering, wondering when you’re coming back, pining away for any little morsel of attention you can give them. Just tell your partner/spouse and be done with it. Yes, it hurts (you) to have to break someone’s heart, but if you really gave a damn about the other person, then you should just suck it up and be honest so that they can heal and move on. I thought this was common knowledge.

I won’t even get into the kid aspect of this situation. I am truly, truly horrified at this point and I don’t understand why someone would do this to another person… for YEARS. YEARS!

But, I digress…

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