I was searching for some blogging inspiration today, but it found me instead. Stop me if you’ve heard this before, but I want to tell you the story about why I love floor-spiced Goldfish.
Once upon a time, I was living in a townhouse with my family (yes, I know, but now I’m in a DIFFERENT townhouse). As The Twitches were still young and nursing, I did not do much except breastfeed and hang out online. Maybe some tie dye here and there, maybe a little freelancing from time to time, but for the most part, my life was online. Shocking, I know.
There was a twin parenting site that I was involved with in many ways, mostly in the harboring of refugees from other twin sites where some crazy women felt it necessary to be “those” women with the perfect lives on paper screen who do their best to make everyone else feel like crap. Parenting boards are scary, but twin parenting boards are a special kind of madness.Through the evolution of this twin site, women would come and go, and some would stick around and try to be reasonable, productive members of that virtual society… and then there were those who stuck around because all the other boards knew they were fucking nuts. Unfortunately, one of those nutty characters lived in my general vicinity, and as time went on, we arranged a playdate at my house.
Her twins were about nine months younger than mine. She seemed normal, maybe a little snarky and very Stepfordish, but since that’s kind of a NoVa trait, I looked beyond it. I invited her over, cleaned my never-clean house and waited. She came over, brought presents (which, honestly, was a bit weird) and we let the kiddos all play together in their “parallel play, we’re big babies” sort of way. Then, she busts out a bag of cheerios and spreads them on the floor for her kids to eat.
No big deal, they were crawling and my floor was clean enough, so whatever.
We finish the playdate, everyone is happy. I meet her and her friends for drinks a week or so later. It was the start of a friendship, one of those “yeah, I need a reason to get out of the house” friendships, but a friendship, nonetheless.
Not long after that, I was informed through the crazy twin mom grapevine, that she was afraid for her children in my house. That my house was some sort of hazard to their health or well-being. That I had old Goldfish on the floor and she had to keep them out of the reach of her children because THEY COULD DIE (its my blog, I’ll be dramatic if I wanna).
Yes, that is what was said. Kinda.