I was just given the opportunity to talk about myself. You all know how I hate that, right? But, I will go ahead and bite the bullet. Speaking of, have you ever bitten a bullet?

Me either.

1. SOMETHING PURPLE WITHIN 5 FEET OF YOU?

My most awesomest corduroy quilt is cradling my lack of ass.

2. THE SEXIEST ITEM YOU OWN?

My mixer. Oh, wait, clothing… uh… my strappy vegan heels.

3. YOUR NAILS WERE LAST PAINTED?

About a month ago, RockStar Red (or something like that). Must make new appointment to get nails done.

4. THE WEIRDEST THING YOU’VE EVER HEATED IN THE MICROWAVE:

Water. I don’t understand why people use a microwave to heat water, it fucks with my head.

5. HOW MUCH JAPANESE DO YOU KNOW?

Sapporo! Sushi! Um… yeah.

6. DO YOU LOOK GOOD IN YELLOW?

All I can think is, “don’t eat the yellow snow.” No. Yo.

7. DO YOU SING?

Yep. Once upon a time, I was going to actually make money doing it… now I just make dinner while doing it. Well, sometimes.

8. EVER DANCED NAKED IN FRONT OF A CROWD?

No, but I seem to recall someone once trying to get me to join his girlfriend and/or her friends up at the pole. Stupid tan lines.

9. DO YOU SPIT?

Only when I’m speaking.

10. IS YOUR HAIR LONG ENOUGH TO CHEW ON?

*Chew* Hmmm, evidently, it is! The great haircut debate continues.

11. LEAST FAVORITE COLOR?

Yellow. Ick.

12. EVER HAD DIPPIN’ DOTS?

Yep. They’re like the alien eggs that develop into bubble tea in the “mall conspiracy theory” that lives only in my mind.

13. EVER PLAYED AN INSTRUMENT?

Wow, yeah. Violin, drums/percussion, piano, guitar for a minute, kazoo, spoons. Spoons are entirely underestimated as a musical powerhouse.

14. EVER HAD AN H2O MASSAGE?

Yes. Totally weird. Unless I’m not thinking dirty enough.

15. DO YOU BELIEVE IN BIG FOOT?

No, because he doesn’t believe in me. LeSigh.

16. EVER BEEN TO A PALM READER?

Oh yes, and I adore him beyond measure. Its probably time for me to go again.

17. LAST PEZ DISPENSER YOU PURCHASED?

Yoda.

18. DID YOU HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND?

I had an amazing weekend, thanks for asking!

19. WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT RIGHT NOW?

My fabulous weekend, Yoda and a palm reader. Not sure why.

20. EVER HAD A BLACK EYE?

Yes, from my sister. She threw a ball and my face caught it. Oh, then my grandmother dropped a box on my head. It was a bad weekend.

21. HOW IS TODAY GOING FOR YOU?

Fantastic, yet kind of slow. Got a new nephew, a phone screen for a job and more Pad Thai than I know what to do with. And, I ended that sentence with, “with,” because that’s how I roll.

22. ANY PLANS TONIGHT?

Yep, heading out to see my sister and nephew. Sad I couldn’t find porn at the grocery store

23. EVER TAKEN A PHOTO OF SOMETHING DEAD?

I don’t think so.

24. DO YOU FIND SMURFETTES SEXY?

No, but I once read some really dirty smurf porn, and I’ll never look at Smurfette the same way again.

25. CURRENT DISAPPOINTMENT?

Nobody is rubbing my feet or shoulders.

26. DO YOU HAVE PLANTS IN YOUR ROOM?

Heh. Oh, um, no, of course not.

27. If you could drink anything right this second what would it be?

Water with crushed ice.

28. LAST PIECE OF MAIL OPENED?

Some business tax thing that I forgot to file. Oops.

29. DOES ANYTHING HURT ON YOUR BODY RIGHT NOW?

My butt. Clearly the corduroy quilt is not very supportive.

30. WHAT CITY WAS YOUR LAST TAXI CAB RIDE IN?

Xenia, Ohio. Maxie’s realm of debauchery.

31. LAST ALCOHOLIC DRINK YOU HAD?

Magic Hat – the pink one.

32. IF SOMEONE YOU HATED DIED, WOULD YOU LAUGH AND SPIT?

No, I’m far too afraid of karma for that nonsense.

33. WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT 9PM LAST NIGHT?

Finishing up some work, grabbing a beer and hanging out with Freedom.

34. DO YOU EXERCISE AS MUCH AS YOU SHOULD?

I’m off the wagon lately. Need to kick my own butt, but it kind of hurts and stuff.

35. DID YOU DO THE DEED ON PROM NIGHT?

Yep, I figured that since prom was an exercise in what a dickface my date could be, the least I was going to do was get laid. Sadly, it was still by that same dickface. Fucker.

36. WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR BF/GF A SECOND CHANCE IF THEY CHEATED ON YOU…?

Nope. I’m kind of over that sort of thing.

37. DO YOU LIKE SAUSAGE?

Hell, no. Ick.

38. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU FOUND OUT YOUR BEST FRIEND WAS GAY?

Snicker. Make a tie dye cake and give him or her a huge hug. Oh, and then make jokes. Lots and lots of inappropriate jokes.

Annnnnnd, I’m off the hook for another blog! Go me!