Saturday, while my weekend guests were getting their Reiki on, I decided it was time for a trim (because short hair = high maintenance… gaah!). Talker came with me to score a video game wrangle the Twitches as we walked the mall and I got my hair did. To kill time before my hair appointment, we stopped in Bath & Body Works and were testing out smells when a male employee came up to me with a bottle of lotion and asked if I wanted to try it.

“Sure, why not,” I said and held out my hand, expecting a drop to be placed there for my own villainous needs. But, no, he takes my hand and gives me what could only be described as the best, and strangest, hand massage of my life. No sooner had he started then he was telling me that he’d just had to call the police on his partner for domestic abuse, and that no man will ever put his hands on him, how much he loved the guy but had to do something and maybe it will be a wake up call, etc.

Wow. Bizarro World keeps on rockin’

Not that I minded the discussion. It was just like what I do daily only there were two penises involved. Generally, I only get to hear about one dick. Tee hee.

So, we finally leave (and my hand feels AMAZING!) and walk toward the hair place, passing Origins on the way there, I’m reminded that I need some stuff, so I’m checking out the goodies when the sales person there tells me she’d love to give me a makeover *cue twilight zone theme song* Ok, so, maybe I should have taken offense to that, but I had plans that night and since I was already getting my hair cut, well, it seemed like fate. Plus, I needed some face stuff… and I’m all about jumping out of my comfort zone 600 times in three hours.

Hair trim done and hair looks freaking amazing. I buy hair paste stuff.

Makeover done, makeup is amazing. I buy face stuff and lipstick.

Finally tear myself away from mall and the most beautiful pair of silver shoes I’ve ever seen (help me!) and we get groceries, head home, and I take The Twitches for their first manicure. The manicurist is the same lady who remembers my inability to shave my legs, because she says, “You not been here in a while. You come back for pedi?”

Jeebus.

Hi. Remember me? Me either.