Between now and the end of the year, I am systematically going through each room in my house, getting rid of crap. I’m simplifying. I’m taking back my space. I am… a Virgo on a mission.

So, just answer me one question: why won’t the trash people take the old cans of paint that the former owners left under my stairs.

While you’re at it, tell me which rooms of my house were once painted dark blue and barn red.

List of Weird Shit I’ve Found So Far:

• Crown Moulding – none of our rooms have crown moulding, yet there’s several feet of it in the storage room.
• 30 cans of paint. Seriously, and maybe two of them are the current shades of weird green and beige that adorn my walls. The rest are just there for no reason, mocking my sense of what is right in this world.
• Mortar. Doesn’t one need bricks for mortar? I didn’t find bricks, so I feel a bit ripped off.
• 4,252 legos. Not weird, in truth, but annoying. I used to love legos and Star Wars until I had kids and they ruined my fun.
• 10 different backpacks/computer cases from different schools that The Husband has attended. No longer will I think its cute when he comes home with another stupid case that is heralded as a prize.
• The biggest monitor ever. Its 21″ I think, not a flat screen, and I have to haul it out to my car next. Ouch.
• My spine. It popped out right after moving the monitor, a filing cabinet and a TV, putting the cover on the futon and then turning the futon back into a couch.
• Porn. (Ok, its not weird, and I knew it existed, but I felt like mentioning it anyway).

To be continued…