Ahh, the grocery store. Land of food, free samples, bird poop-covered shopping baskets, tantrums, potty trips and… the “finish line,” where invariably, I come to some witty conclusion about the world, or just buy some gum. Whatever.

Today’s insight is brought to you by the media-starved person I’ve become as I thumb my nose at celebrity gossip. Without further ado… I present, today’s insight:

Paula Deen (as pictured on some weird cooking magazine)

Looks like a toddler Beauty Pageant contestant.

And, I don’t mean that in a good way.

Please don’t sue me.

The song of the week… remember this one?