I am leaving again. Part of my farewell tour… farewell to 6 weeks of no school, farewell to the hermit I have become (until school starts again, but for now it makes sense). This weekend, I head up north to chill with a dear friend who will feed me and half my kids and let me steal her towels. That’s a good friend

Speaking of driving long distance with your children who must potty every 20 minutes, I got a new GPS. I will never be lost again, no matter how hard I try. Unless it runs out of power or I leave it at home. Which is something I will do whenever possible. So, happy anniversary to me! The Husband got a flash for his camera, so now he can be even flashier and shit. I’m so good to him.

The funny thing about this is that I am really against any device that could potentially be used to target MY location by those who don’t wear foil hats. However, that paranoia collided directly with my absolute fear of getting lost again… 20 miles from home.

So, this GPS… I’ve already added a witch’s broom to the display instead of the dorky little blue car, and it speaks to me as “Dr. Nightmare.” It says something to the effect of “those satellites must have been scared away MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.”

Points to ponder:

1. I have not yet left the house with the GPS, so its satellite reception is pretty bad indoors. I have, however, simulated the drive to the book store that is .175 miles away… on my broom… and that was an amazing trip, if not somewhat chilly.

2. When actually flying on my broom driving, I will scare the piss out of myself when I inevitably make a wrong turn and Dr. Nightmare tells me he’s going to eat my face.

3. On this road trip, I will be juggling a phone, iPod and GPS, not to mention snacks and beverages for myself and 2 car-seated kids. Stay off the roads, its for your own good.