This is serious. I’ve obviously been far too busy because I’ve mentally skipped a day. Maybe it was Monday, which is probably the best day to skip, but its really throwing off my mental health. Today is Wednesday. I’m having calendar OCD problems.

I managed to get a ton of stuff done today, and before I went home, I stopped at the grocery store. I didn’t eat lunch, which is a bad way to grocery shop, so guess what I ended up getting? No, it wasn’t hummus, or chips or those delicious doughnuts I’m addicted to. That would all be too normal, and my husband keeps me well stocked in my “comfort foods.” So, what did I get?

I got bulbs.

TULIP BULBS.

I don’t have a green thumb, nose, toe or nipple. I kill pretty much any plant that enters my house. Its a curse, likely from my days of eating grass roots (don’t ask). But, for some bizarre reason, when I saw the box of “Queen of Night” tulip bulbs, I had to have them.

Yes, they’re jet black and will accent my pirate flag nicely when they come up in spring. I did get two other types of bulbs, as well, because although I enjoy letting my freak flag fly, I don’t want the HOA to spray paint my house with a giant “666,” and you know they would. That would, however, also accent my pirate flag rather well. The bulbs were on special, so I also let the female children pick their favorites – pink daffodils and purple/yellow crocus. I don’t even know what crocus are, but dammit, I’m going to plant some!

Well, now I have another commitment. I have to plant the bulbs sometime in the next few weeks, because the box told me to do it before a hard frost. No, I have no idea if there is a difference between a hard or a squishy frost, but I’m sure that the box would not lead me astray. Its a box, after all, and boxes are notorious for knowing everything. So, I’m trading in my animal farm for a plant sanctuary. Some people call them gardens, but I really think I’m saving them from other people like me.

Never take me shopping when I’m hungry.