I’m lucky. Rarely does a person get to have such great fodder to vindicate one’s life, one’s choices, one’s being… even if that chapter closed a long, long time ago.
I’ve written about Comic Boy’s father a few times. He was… well, I felt lucky to escape alive. Seriously. But, there were always two things I gave the man credit for, aside from his sperm donation that created one of my favorite people on the planet… he was incredibly musically talented (even if I never saw him actually hold a guitar), and, he was smart. Super, crazy, manipulatively, deviously smart.
Well… maybe not so much.
This man, upon Comic Boy’s insistence that he, himself, was a man, and had his own opinions, ditched Comic Boy last winter. There was no trip to Arkansas to see his father, no Christmas presents, no speaking for a month or more. For Spring Break, his father chose to travel to a far away country, allegedly to propose to a Russian girlfriend… in Thailand.
I happened to have intercepted a text message between Comic Boy and his Father that showed a photo of “Olga,” a totally hot Russian girl, across a restaurant table: red hair, pouty lips. Just hot. Congrats to him! But, wait, how did hot, red head Russian Chick end up with Comic Boy’s father? My first thought was that he bought her. Then, I pretty much forgot, except when Comic Boy would mention how his dad was always bragging about his Russian girlfriend. Heh.
When the window of Spring Break airline tickets opened, I asked if Comic Boy’s father had mentioned Spring Break, as he had not contacted me to fulfill his visitation. Comic Boy said he was unsure. With the recent history/breakup between the two, I didn’t really press for details. Then, suddenly, Comic Boy’s dad was heading to Thailand over Spring Break because he was going to propose to his Russian girlfriend. Propose? Thailand? Over Spring Break? WTH?
I asked if Comic Boy had ever spoken to his future stepmother.
“She’s eight years older than me, Mom,” he said.
I gulped. Said that the age difference between Martian and I was similar, but, that if Martian had a teenage child at that point, I would never have considered it. Age is just a number and all that. Being on the other side of that now, I’m kinda skeeved out again by my former marriage. WTF? Ahem.
I asked if he had ever seen photos of them together.
So, in a nutshell, Comic Boy’s dad has been bragging about his hot, Russian girlfriend for months and bailed on his kid to go propose to her in Thailand over Spring Break. Comic Boy handled it well. He spent Spring Break bonding with his electronics and not doing chores. About halfway through Spring Break, watching his father’s activities on Facebook, he says, “Mom, I think they broke up.”
His father’s Facebook page is full of photos of Thailand. Full of the scenery, the animals, one disinterested girl in a bikini who looks nothing like the photo I saw on his phone. The thing that is missing from this “bail on my kid” vacation is photos of his dad WITH the Russian girl. Or, actual photos of a woman who doesn’t look like she allowed some random American to take her photo.
His father’s Facebook page (as Comic Boy showed me) has a few vague posts about “it being fun” but that was all there was, regarding Olga.
He went to Thailand to propose to his hot, Russian girlfriend.
It was fun, but that was all there would be. Hmm.
Wheels spinning, ideas churning, Superman on board, we do a little Googlizing for “Russian Olga Scam.” We both had an idea in mind of what was going on. I had already asked if Olga actually lived near his dad, several times, and he said he thought she did. I asked if he’d ever seen pictures of them together there.
Then, I saw Olga’s Facebook page.
You stupid, stupid American man.
As far as I can tell, since the man is back in the States and was not lured to Thailand for a fun round of organ harvesting, one of three things happened:
A) Comic Boy’s father dumped his kid to go to Thailand to propose to his Russian girlfriend, who he may or may not have ever met in person, only to never set eyes on the beautiful Olga, and spend his vacation photographing monkeys, elephants and random strangers on a beach. Oh, and playing board games with prostitutes, until flying back home with his head hung in shame.
B) Comic Boy’s father dumped his kid to go to Thailand to propose to his Russian girlfriend who somehow got stuck at an airport needed a few thousand dollars to be wired to her account in order to straighten out paperwork so she could be ALLLL HIS. Then, she was never heard from again.
C) Comic Boy’s father dumped his kid to go to Thailand to propose to his Russian girlfriend who showed up, but was a hairy man with a keyboard who pointed and laughed at him for being a complete tool.
As far as Olga is concerned, I’d like to wire her some money for her time and trouble, and for her role in my giddy laughter over the weekend. Thank you, whoever you are, hot-maybe-Russian-but-who-cares lady. You made a dream come true.